Those of you out there who have suffered any great traumatic event in your life have probably suffered from insomnia. Welcome to the club!! This is a nightly occurrence for me. I have trouble falling asleep and staying that way once I finally drift off. My favorite thing to do in the middle of the night is to come downstairs and eat chocolate ice-cream right out of the carton. This is okay because I am the only one who eats chocolate ice-cream in my house. This is all well and good but we all know that we have to face our demons before we can join those who sleep blissfully in their beds, such as my husband. How do I know that he sleeps blissfully you ask. Well the neighbors could probably vouch for me because his snoring can probably be heard from their house.
Joking aside, I have to say that it is the nightmares that hound my sleep. My mother recently passed away and this has awakened old hurts and memories. Although we were not close it is the knowledge that I will never be able to get the answers to the many questions that I wanted to ask. Any and all suggestions to getting past this road bump in my life would be greatly appreciated.
Reaching Out
I would like to reach out to all those who were sexually abused by women. I was sexually abused by my lesbian mother's partner when I was a little girl. I have been in intensive therapy on three separate occasions, all when encountering a crises in my life. Upon going to a therapist my first question would be--have you encountered this type of sexual abuse? All answered no. I was told that I should be able to find chat rooms or support groups online or in big cities. I have found neither. I was treated as a woman would be treated had she been abused by a man. The last therapist admitted that although there should be differing treatment plans, there were no guidelines when dealing with this kind of sexual abuse.
From the age of 2-6 I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused by my mother's lesbian partner. My older sister and I suffered horrific abuse at the hands of the woman that was supposed to be caring for us. She was truly evil. As if this was not enough I was sexually assaulted by a friends grandfather at the age of 14 and date raped at 15. I left home when I was 15 and bounced around until marrying.
I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, had anxiety issues, and was borderline agoraphobic. With the help of a great therapist and the love and support of my husband and three children I am happy and physically and emotionally healthy. I still have bad days and still suffer from nightmares and flashbacks, but I have learned to lean on someone for support when necessary. I hope to connect with others such as myself and through networking we may be able to not only help ourselves but help others in the process.
This is a problem that is not readily accepted in our society and dealt with accordingly. Women are looked upon as nurturers and caring, compassionate people. Like men, there are women who go against the norm and defile children and steal their innocence. Only when something horrible happens, such as the case with Melissa Huckaby, does the media or society as a whole sit up and take notice. It then seems to fade away over time. People are generally unreceptive to the idea that women can be pedophiles. They are just as capable of committing atrocious acts against children as men are.
From the age of 2-6 I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused by my mother's lesbian partner. My older sister and I suffered horrific abuse at the hands of the woman that was supposed to be caring for us. She was truly evil. As if this was not enough I was sexually assaulted by a friends grandfather at the age of 14 and date raped at 15. I left home when I was 15 and bounced around until marrying.
I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, had anxiety issues, and was borderline agoraphobic. With the help of a great therapist and the love and support of my husband and three children I am happy and physically and emotionally healthy. I still have bad days and still suffer from nightmares and flashbacks, but I have learned to lean on someone for support when necessary. I hope to connect with others such as myself and through networking we may be able to not only help ourselves but help others in the process.
This is a problem that is not readily accepted in our society and dealt with accordingly. Women are looked upon as nurturers and caring, compassionate people. Like men, there are women who go against the norm and defile children and steal their innocence. Only when something horrible happens, such as the case with Melissa Huckaby, does the media or society as a whole sit up and take notice. It then seems to fade away over time. People are generally unreceptive to the idea that women can be pedophiles. They are just as capable of committing atrocious acts against children as men are.
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