I thought that I would talk about a different aspect of the abuse that I suffered for each posting. I will begin with the physical abuse. From the age of one and a half to around six I was physically abused by my mother's partner. She would care for us children (three of my mothers and two of her own) while my mother worked and then my mother would take care of us while her partner worked.
While my mother was away my sister and I lived in terror, and sometimes when my mother was there. We will call my mothers partner Gayle. This is not her real name but I do not want to cause harm to innocent people by revealing her real name. Gayle was a large woman built like a football player. She was not obese, just very compact and strong with broad shoulders. She was very menacing.
She would amuse herself by running scalding hot water into the bath tub, as hot as possible. The bathroom would be filled with steam and my sister and I would know what it meant when we heard the water running. If we were taking a normal bath we would take it with Gayle's son. I was around 2, her son was 6 months older than me and my sister was 3 years older. For normal baths she would call us into the bath while the water was running so that we could undress. For the scalding hot baths she would instruct her son to sit on the couch and watch TV and he better not move or he would be punished. When the water was turned off she would take my sister and me, we would have already undressed, and put us in the hot water. We could not cry openly or we knew we would be beaten. After sitting in the scalding water silently sobbing, our bodies bright red she would pull us out of the water by our hair. Sometimes this would be enough for her, but other times she needed to inflict more agony by running freezing cold water and hauling us by our hair back into the frigid water. She would sometimes add ice to the water to make it colder.
We could not tell our mother. Gayle told us that she would kill our mother if we told. This is a common ploy by abusers but young children believe these words when they are being told by a violent person. Not only could we not tell our mother but we could not openly cry during the abuse. The more we cried the more vicious the abuse. Children learn at a very young age to hold emotions inside. We only cried silent tears to lessen the severity of the abuse.
This is one way in which Gayle physically abused us. I will discuss other ways in the next post.
Reaching Out
I would like to reach out to all those who were sexually abused by women. I was sexually abused by my lesbian mother's partner when I was a little girl. I have been in intensive therapy on three separate occasions, all when encountering a crises in my life. Upon going to a therapist my first question would be--have you encountered this type of sexual abuse? All answered no. I was told that I should be able to find chat rooms or support groups online or in big cities. I have found neither. I was treated as a woman would be treated had she been abused by a man. The last therapist admitted that although there should be differing treatment plans, there were no guidelines when dealing with this kind of sexual abuse.
From the age of 2-6 I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused by my mother's lesbian partner. My older sister and I suffered horrific abuse at the hands of the woman that was supposed to be caring for us. She was truly evil. As if this was not enough I was sexually assaulted by a friends grandfather at the age of 14 and date raped at 15. I left home when I was 15 and bounced around until marrying.
I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, had anxiety issues, and was borderline agoraphobic. With the help of a great therapist and the love and support of my husband and three children I am happy and physically and emotionally healthy. I still have bad days and still suffer from nightmares and flashbacks, but I have learned to lean on someone for support when necessary. I hope to connect with others such as myself and through networking we may be able to not only help ourselves but help others in the process.
This is a problem that is not readily accepted in our society and dealt with accordingly. Women are looked upon as nurturers and caring, compassionate people. Like men, there are women who go against the norm and defile children and steal their innocence. Only when something horrible happens, such as the case with Melissa Huckaby, does the media or society as a whole sit up and take notice. It then seems to fade away over time. People are generally unreceptive to the idea that women can be pedophiles. They are just as capable of committing atrocious acts against children as men are.
From the age of 2-6 I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused by my mother's lesbian partner. My older sister and I suffered horrific abuse at the hands of the woman that was supposed to be caring for us. She was truly evil. As if this was not enough I was sexually assaulted by a friends grandfather at the age of 14 and date raped at 15. I left home when I was 15 and bounced around until marrying.
I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, had anxiety issues, and was borderline agoraphobic. With the help of a great therapist and the love and support of my husband and three children I am happy and physically and emotionally healthy. I still have bad days and still suffer from nightmares and flashbacks, but I have learned to lean on someone for support when necessary. I hope to connect with others such as myself and through networking we may be able to not only help ourselves but help others in the process.
This is a problem that is not readily accepted in our society and dealt with accordingly. Women are looked upon as nurturers and caring, compassionate people. Like men, there are women who go against the norm and defile children and steal their innocence. Only when something horrible happens, such as the case with Melissa Huckaby, does the media or society as a whole sit up and take notice. It then seems to fade away over time. People are generally unreceptive to the idea that women can be pedophiles. They are just as capable of committing atrocious acts against children as men are.
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