I have had the most wonderful experience over the past few months. My oldest daughter who is in the process of getting her masters works part-time as a nanny. For the last few months she has been student teaching so that she can get her teacher's certification. Yes my daughter is definitely a go getter. While student teaching she has not been able to work at her nanny's job. I have been fortunate enough to fill in for her. The sweet little girl is 14 months old and a delight to take care of. While caring for this beautiful and energetic child I have often wondered how anyone could possibly abuse innocent children.
Children are born innocent. They come into this world depending on those around them to take care of them. They are precious and are at the complete mercy of their caregivers. I just can't comprehend how anyone could hurt a child. They only want to be loved. When an adult abuses a child they steal their innocence, strip them of the happiness and security that all children should feel. It makes me so incredibly sad to know that there are deranged people that forever change a child's life. My heart breaks for every child that is somehow abused or neglected.
I appreciate every day that I spend with this remarkably good toddler. I get to be a stand in grandma, which is a good thing considering that I probably won't get any of my own grandchildren for several more years. My advice to all parent's is to cherish every moment you have with your children, they grow up way too fast.
Reaching Out
I would like to reach out to all those who were sexually abused by women. I was sexually abused by my lesbian mother's partner when I was a little girl. I have been in intensive therapy on three separate occasions, all when encountering a crises in my life. Upon going to a therapist my first question would be--have you encountered this type of sexual abuse? All answered no. I was told that I should be able to find chat rooms or support groups online or in big cities. I have found neither. I was treated as a woman would be treated had she been abused by a man. The last therapist admitted that although there should be differing treatment plans, there were no guidelines when dealing with this kind of sexual abuse.
From the age of 2-6 I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused by my mother's lesbian partner. My older sister and I suffered horrific abuse at the hands of the woman that was supposed to be caring for us. She was truly evil. As if this was not enough I was sexually assaulted by a friends grandfather at the age of 14 and date raped at 15. I left home when I was 15 and bounced around until marrying.
I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, had anxiety issues, and was borderline agoraphobic. With the help of a great therapist and the love and support of my husband and three children I am happy and physically and emotionally healthy. I still have bad days and still suffer from nightmares and flashbacks, but I have learned to lean on someone for support when necessary. I hope to connect with others such as myself and through networking we may be able to not only help ourselves but help others in the process.
This is a problem that is not readily accepted in our society and dealt with accordingly. Women are looked upon as nurturers and caring, compassionate people. Like men, there are women who go against the norm and defile children and steal their innocence. Only when something horrible happens, such as the case with Melissa Huckaby, does the media or society as a whole sit up and take notice. It then seems to fade away over time. People are generally unreceptive to the idea that women can be pedophiles. They are just as capable of committing atrocious acts against children as men are.
From the age of 2-6 I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused by my mother's lesbian partner. My older sister and I suffered horrific abuse at the hands of the woman that was supposed to be caring for us. She was truly evil. As if this was not enough I was sexually assaulted by a friends grandfather at the age of 14 and date raped at 15. I left home when I was 15 and bounced around until marrying.
I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, had anxiety issues, and was borderline agoraphobic. With the help of a great therapist and the love and support of my husband and three children I am happy and physically and emotionally healthy. I still have bad days and still suffer from nightmares and flashbacks, but I have learned to lean on someone for support when necessary. I hope to connect with others such as myself and through networking we may be able to not only help ourselves but help others in the process.
This is a problem that is not readily accepted in our society and dealt with accordingly. Women are looked upon as nurturers and caring, compassionate people. Like men, there are women who go against the norm and defile children and steal their innocence. Only when something horrible happens, such as the case with Melissa Huckaby, does the media or society as a whole sit up and take notice. It then seems to fade away over time. People are generally unreceptive to the idea that women can be pedophiles. They are just as capable of committing atrocious acts against children as men are.
Your story is so moving. I too am a victim of abuse who just can not fathom why a person would harm a child. I'm a male and my molester was an older female. I've never had a therepist, but there's a book that helped me realize what true love is all about, and it has made all the difference. It's a book called "Peace Above the Storm."
ReplyDeletehttp://www.alibris.com/search/books/qwork/5027998/used/Peace%20Above%20the%20Storm%3A%20Freedom%20from%20Worry%20Guilt%20and%20Fear
Thank you for sharing with me and I will definitely look for Peace Above the Storm. I have found that my faith has helped me tremendously in dealing with my past. I hope and pray for you that you are happy and at peace. I know how very hard it is to find peace after suffering from such a horrific assault. God Bless you!
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